Sometime back in spring, we decided on a whim to put down that big deposit and go. Squam is something I've read about but always thought, "Huh. I'll never get to go to that." But here I am. I think I was shaking as I hit the "pay" button, because this felt like one of those frivolous things that I really shouldn't be doing, and what I really should be doing is paying off my credit card, or something boring like that. But caution was thrown to the wind, payments were made, plane tickets were bought, and here I am sitting and wondering what it'll all be like.
I can't help but feel like an 8 year-old on the eve of departing for summer camp:
Will they like me? Will my art suck? Will it be all touchy feely and soul searching and I'll gag on the mushy-ness of it all? Will we be forced to sing around a campfire and eat on tin trays at long tables? Will I feel like an outcast and be antisocial? Will it be worth the money and long hours of travel to get there?
Will it be awesome and amazing? Will I feel that nudge that I so desperately need to get back into my work? Will I form friendships I never imagined? Will I feel comfortable in my own skin? Will I stick my toes in a cold lake and smell the pines and wonder why I ever hesitated?
All I know is that I have two blank sketchbooks and a new pen and a new suitcase and I am going. And I think I'm gonna like it.
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1 comments:
so stoked that you're going to be at squam. :)
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